Q:
What can I do about doubts? Some days I'm plagued with doubts
about the practice or my own progress, or the teacher.
A:
Doubting is natural. Everyone starts out with doubts. You can
learn a great deal from them. What is important is that you don't
identify with your doubts: that is, don't get caught up in them. This
will spin your mind in endless circles. Instead, watch the whole process
of doubting, of wondering. See who it is that doubts. See how doubts
come and go. Then you will no longer be victimized by your doubts.
You will step outside of them and your mind will be quiet. You can
see how all things come and go. Just let go of what you are attached
to. Let go of your doubts and simply watch. This is how to end doubting.
Q:
What about other methods of practice? These days there seem to
be so many teachers and so many different systems of meditation that
it is confusing.
A:
It is like going into town. One can approach from the north,
from the southeast, from many roads. Often these systems just differ
outwardly. Whether you walk one way or another, fast or slow, if you
are mindful, it is all the same. There is one essential point that
all good practice must eventually come to - not clinging. In the
end, all meditation systems must be let go of. Neither can one cling
to the teacher. If a system leads to relinquishment, to not clinging,
then it is correct practice.
You may wish to travel, to visit other teachers and try other systems.
Some of you have already done so. This is a natural desire. You will
find out that a thousand questions asked and knowledge of many systems
will not bring you to the truth. Eventually you will get bored. You
will see that only by stopping and examining your own mind can you
find out what the Buddha talked about. No need to go searching outside
yourself. Eventually you must return to face your own true nature.
Here is where you can understand the Dhamma.
Q:
A lot of times it seems that many monks here are not practicing.
They look sloppy or unmindful. This disturbs me.
A:
It is not proper to watch other people. This will not help your
practice. If you are annoyed, watch the annoyance in your own mind.
If others' discipline is bad or they are not good monks, this is not
for you to judge. You will not discover wisdom watching others. Monks'
discipline is a tool to use for your own meditation. It is not a weapon
to use to criticize or find fault. No one can do your practice for
you, nor can you do practice for anyone else. Just be mindful of your
own doings. This is the way to practice.
Q:
I have been extremely careful to practice sense restraint. I
always keep my eyes lowered and am mindful of every little action
I do. When eating, for example, I take a long time and try to see
each touch: chewing, tasting, swallowing, etc. I take each step very
deliberately and carefully. Am I practicing properly?
A:
Sense restraint is proper practice. We should be mindful of it
throughout the day. But don't overdo it! Walk and eat and act naturally.
And then develop natural mindfulness of what is going on within yourself.
Don't force your meditation nor force yourself into awkward patterns.
This is another form of craving. Be patient. Patience and endurance
are necessary. If you act naturally and are mindful, wisdom will come
naturally too.
Q:
Is it necessary to sit for very long stretches?
A:
No, sitting for hours on end is not necessary. Some people think
that the longer you can sit, the wiser you must be. I have seen chickens
sit on their nests for days on end! Wisdom comes from being mindful
in all postures. Your practice should begin as you awaken in the morning.
It should continue until you fall asleep. Don't be concerned about
how long you can sit. What is important is only that you keep watchful
whether you are working or sitting or going to the bathroom.
Each person has his own natural pace. Some of you will die at age
fifty, some at age sixty-five, and some at age ninety. So, too, your
practice will not be all identical. Don't think or worry about this.
Try to be mindful and let things take their natural course. Then your
mind will become quieter and quieter in any surroundings. It will
become still like a clear forest pool. Then all kinds of wonderful
and rare animals will come to drink at the pool. You will see clearly
the nature of all things (sankhārās) in the
world. You will see many wonderful and strange things come and go.
But you will be still. Problems will arise and you will see through
them immediately. This is the happiness of the Buddha.
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