Wisdom is for yourself to watch and develop. Take from the teacher
what is good. Be aware of your own practice. If I am resting while
you must all sit up, does this make you angry? If I call the color
blue red or say that male is female, don't follow me blindly.
One of my teachers ate very fast. He made noises as he ate. Yet he
told us to eat slowly and mindfully. I used to watch him and get very
upset. I suffered, but he didn't! I watched the outside. Later I learned.
Some people drive very fast but carefully. Others drive slowly and
have many accidents. Don't cling to rules, to outer form. If you watch
others at most ten percent of the time and watch yourself ninety percent,
this is the proper practice. At first I used to watch my teacher Ajahn
Tong Raht and had many doubts. People even thought he was mad. He
would do strange things or get very fierce with his disciples. Outside
he was angry, but inside there was nothing. Nobody there. He was remarkable.
He stayed clear and mindful until the moment he died.
Looking outside the self is comparing, discriminating. You will not
find happiness that way. Nor will you find peace if you spend your
time looking for the perfect man or the perfect teacher. The Buddha
taught us to look at the Dhamma, the truth, not to look at other people.
Q:
How can we overcome lust in our practice? Sometimes I feel as
if I am a slave to my sexual desire.
A:
Lust should be balanced by contemplation of loathesomeness. Attachment
to bodily form is one extreme and one should keep in mind the opposite.
Examine the body as a corpse and see the process of decay or think
of the parts of the body such as the lungs, spleen, fat, feces, and
so forth. Remember these and visualize this loathesome aspect of the
body when lust arises. This will free you from lust.
Q:
How about anger? What should I do when I feel anger arising?
A:
You must use loving-kindness. When angry states of mind arise
in meditation, balance them by developing feelings of loving-kindness.
If someone does something bad or gets angry, don't get angry yourself.
If you do, you are being more ignorant than they. Be wise. Keep in
mind compassion, for that person is suffering. Fill your mind with
loving-kindness as if he were a dear brother. Concentrate on the feeling
of loving-kindness as a meditation subject. Spread it to all beings
in the world. Only through loving-kindness is hatred overcome.
Sometimes you may see other monks behaving badly. You may get annoyed.
This is suffering unnecessarily. It is not yet our Dhamma. You may
think like this: ''He is not as strict as I am. They are not serious
meditators like us. Those monks are not good monks''. This is a great
defilement on your part. Do not make comparisons. Do not discriminate.
Let go of your opinion as watch your opinions and watch yourself.
This is our Dhamma. You can't possibly make everyone act as you wish
or be like you. This wish will only make you suffer. It is a common
mistake for meditators to make, but watching other people won't develop
wisdom. Simply examine yourself, your feelings. This is how you will
understand.
Q:
I feel sleepy a great deal. It makes it hard to meditate.
A:
There are many ways to overcome sleepiness. If you are sitting
in the dark, move to a lighted place. Open your eyes. Get up and wash
your face or take a bath. If you are sleepy, change postures. Walk
a lot. Walk backwards. The fear of running into things will keep you
awake. If this fails, stand still, clear the mind and imagine it is
full daylight. Or sit on the edge of a high cliff or deep well. You
won't dare sleep! If nothing works, then just go to sleep. Lay down
carefully and try to be aware until the moment you fall asleep. Then
as you awaken, get right up. Don't look at the clock or roll over.
Start mindfulness from the moment you awaken. If you find yourself
sleepy everyday, try to eat less. Examine yourself. As soon as five
more spoonfuls will make you full, stop. Then take water until just
properly full. Go and sit. Watch your sleepiness and hunger. You must
learn to balance your eating. As your practice goes on you will feel
naturally more energetic and eat less. But you must adjust yourself.
Q:
Why must we do so much prostrating here?
A:
Prostrating is very important. It is an outward form that is
part of practice. This form should be done correctly. Bring the forehead
all the way to the floor. Have the elbows near the knees and the palms
of the hands on the floor about three inches apart. Prostrate slowly,
be mindful of your body. It is a good remedy for our conceit. We should
prostrate often. When you prostrate three times you can keep in mind
the qualities of the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha, that is, the
qualities of mind of purity, radiance and peace. So we use the outward
form to train ourselves. Body and mind become harmonious. Don't make
the mistake of watching how others prostrate. If young novices are
sloppy or the aged monks appear unmindful, this is not for you to
judge. People can be difficult to train. Some learn fast but others
learn slowly. Judging others will only increase your pride. Watch
yourself instead. Prostrate often, get rid of your pride.
Those who have really become harmonious with the Dhamma get far beyond
the outward form. Everything they do is a way of prostrating. Walking,
they prostrate; eating, they prostrate; defecating, they prostrate.
This is because they have got beyond selfishness.
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