Reading the Natural Mind¹

Our way of practice is looking closely at things and making them clear. We're persistent and constant, yet not rushed or hurried. Neither are we too slow. It's a matter of gradually feeling our way and bringing it together. However, all of this bringing it together is working towards something, there is a point to our practice.

For most of us, when we first start to practice, it's nothing other than desire. We start to practice because of wanting. At this stage our wanting is wanting in the wrong way. That is, it's deluded. It's wanting mixed with wrong understanding.

If wanting is not mixed with wrong understanding like this, we say that it's wanting with wisdom (paññ?)². It's not deluded - it's wanting with right understanding. In a case like this we say that it's due to a person's p?ram? or past accumulations. However, this isn't the case with everyone.

Some people don't want to have desire, or they want not to have desires, because they think that our practice is directed at not wanting. However, if there is no desire, then there's no way of practice.

We can see this for ourselves. The Buddha and all his disciples practiced to put an end to defilements. We must want to practice and must want to put an end to defilements. We must want to have peace of mind and want not to have confusion. However, if this wanting is mixed with wrong understanding, then it will only amount to more difficulties for us. If we are honest about it, we really know nothing at all. Or, what we do know is of no consequence, since we are unable to use it properly.

Everybody, including the Buddha, started out like this, with the desire to practice - wanting to have peace of mind and wanting not to have confusion and suffering. These two kinds of desire have exactly the same value. If not understood then both wanting to be free from confusion and not wanting to have suffering are defilements. They're a foolish way of wanting - desire without wisdom.

Footnotes

...¹

An informal talk given to a group of newly ordained monks after the evening chanting, middle of the Rains Retreat, 1978

...)²

Paññ?: has a wide range of meanings from general common sense to knowledgeable understanding, to profound insight into Dhamma. Although each use of the word may have a different meaning, implicit in all of them is an increasing understanding of Dhamma culminating in profound insight and enlightenment.

... way³

On another occasion the Venerable Ajahn completed the analogy by saying that if we know how to guard our own minds, then it is the same as observing all of the numerous rules of the Vinaya.