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Ajahn Khemanando | |
More than anything else, I think it was probably his humour that made him attractive to Westerners, for whom conceit, views and attachment to all sorts of worldly knowledge and sophistication could be serious obstructions. But Ajahn Chah would have way of deflating all that in a humorous way. It’s very difficult to point out somebody’s defilements in an acceptable way that doesn’t cause offence or inspire resistance or rejection. But Westerners generally have a rather sarcastic sense of humour and Ajahn Chah would play on that with his own wit and make people aware of their own faults in a very funny way, which would in turn endear him to them even more. So, most of the time I was actually with Ajahn Chah, I didn’t understand Thai very well at all. And just as I was getting competent in the language, he got sick and was incapacitated to the point of being unable to speak! But although the tapes and books produced in later times made me aware of what I had missed experiencing personally, I feel no regret about it because, having carried on for over twenty-two years now, I really believe that the initiation into spiritual life of those early years gave me something that has sustained me right up to the present. Basically the simple conviction that this is right. It works. It’s all you need. This conviction sprang directly from my own experience of Ajahn Chah’s example, this person who seemed to have such cast-iron integrity; who conveyed complete certainty and a kind of natural authority that commanded respect. Confronted almost daily by all kinds of people, problems and questions, he was quite unmoveable from this position of inner certainty and calm. No one could upset him or make him move from this position, and this was most impressive. I had never seen anyone so constant and it seemed to be proof that he was operating on quite a different level to the average person. So although I can’t really claim to have had profound discussions or a deep, personal connection with Ajahn Chah, the constancy of his mere presence was enough to anchor me to the principles of the training he taught. And it inspired great confidence to have an example of someone who had achieved such results from the practice, who embodied the Dhamma and lived it all the time. Consequently, I never really had doubts about it or any problems surrendering myself to it. I had never had a teacher before or much understanding of what that might imply, and was also a fairly critical person with a rather cynical bent. But the example of Ajahn Chah himself made the surrender of opinions and preferences, the endurance of simplicity and austerity, the tribulations of diet and climate, etc., a joy to undertake. Without such an example as a constant reminder, it’s very easy to remain stuck in one’s own views and opinions, which is a major obstacle to success in training. Westerners, especially, have problems because they know so much. They know that there are other teachers, other traditions, and books all over the place. And they can just get lost, never really grasping the point of it all. Ajahn Chah would say, “Don’t read books. Don’t write home more than twice a year. You’ve come here to die!”. The idea of living in the forest and being simple really appealed to me as my character naturally disposes me to be that way. It was no great wrench to take up the forest life. It’s often assumed that living with a teacher means having an in-depth personal rapport characterized by weighty discussions of profound topics pertaining to spiritual life and the highest goals thereof. But it’s by no means necessarily the case. You never really enter spiritual life wholeheartedly until you surrender yourself, surrender views and opinions. Ajahn Chah’s genius was in his ability to point this out, orchestrating an environment or training situation in which people could become aware of their own defilement and learn not to believe their own thinking. This is incredibly important. Without the example of someone who has done it, who lives it, it’s really difficult to give up self-concern. I never had any problems wondering whether I should be doing this or whether I should go somewhere else. Inspired by Ajahn Chah’s example, I just got on with it. I didn’t see any point in going anywhere else. Eventually, you verify the teaching through your own practice and you realise how things change. Your habits change. Your character changes. Your defilements get less. Life gets easier and your mind is more peaceful. Everything Ajahn Chah has been saying is true! | |
