Sometimes you may wonder, ''Eh, am I breathing?'' This is the
same mistake. It is the thinking mind. Whatever happens, allow things
to take their natural course, no matter what feeling arises. Know
it, look at it. But don't be deluded by it. Keep doing it, keep doing
it. Do it often. After the meal, air your robe on a line, and get
straight out onto the walking meditation path. Keep thinking 'Buddho,
Buddho'. Think it all the time that you're walking. Concentrate
on the word 'Buddho' as you walk. Wear the path down, wear
it down until it's a trench and it's halfway up your calves, or up
to your knees. Just keep walking.
It's not just strolling along in a perfunctory way, thinking about
this and that for a length of the path, and then going up into your
hut and looking at your sleeping mat, ''How inviting!'' Then laying
down and snoring away like a pig. If you do that you won't get anything
from the practice at all.
Keep doing it until you're fed up and then see how far that laziness
goes. Keep looking until you come to the end of laziness. Whatever
it is you experience you have to go all the way through it before
you overcome it. It's not as if you can just repeat the word 'peace'
to yourself and then as soon as you sit, you expect peace will arise
like at the click of a switch, and when it doesn't then you give up,
lazy. If that's the case you'll never be peaceful.
It's easy to talk about and hard to do. It's like monks who are thinking
of disrobing saying, ''Rice farming doesn't seem so difficult to
me. I'd be better off as a rice farmer''. They start farming without
knowing about cows or buffaloes, harrows or ploughs, nothing at all.
They find out that when you talk about farming it sounds easy, but
when you actually try it you get to know exactly what the difficulties
are.
Everyone would like to search for peace in that way. Actually, peace
does lie right there, but you don't know it yet. You can follow after
it, you can talk about it as much as you like, but you won't know
what it is.
So, do it. Follow it until you know in pace with the breath, concentrating
on the breath using the mantra 'Buddho'. Just that much.
Don't let the mind wander off anywhere else. At this time have this
knowing. Do this. Study just this much. Just keep doing it, doing
it in this way. If you start thinking that nothing is happening, just
carry on anyway. Just carry on regardless and you will get to know
the breath.
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