The study of meditation is the study of cultivation and relinquishment.
What I mean by study here is: whenever the mind experiences a sensation,
do we still cling to it? Do we still create problems around it? Do
we still experience enjoyment or aversion over it? To put it simply:
do we still get lost in our thoughts? Yes, we do. If we don't like
something we react with aversion; if we do like it we react with pleasure,
the mind becomes defiled and stained. If this is the case then we
must see that we still have faults, we are still imperfect, we still
have work to do. There must be more relinquishing and more persistent
cultivation. This is what I mean by studying. If we get stuck on anything,
we recognize that we are stuck. We know what state we're in, and we
work to correct ourselves.
Living with the teacher or apart from the teacher should be the same.
Some people are afraid. They're afraid that if they don't walk meditation
the teacher will upbraid or scold them. This is good in a way, but
in the true practice you don't need to be afraid of others, just be
wary of faults arising within your own actions, speech or thoughts.
When you see faults in your actions, speech or thoughts you must guard
yourselves. Attano codayattānam
- ''you must exhort yourself,'' don't leave it to others to do.
We must quickly improve ourselves, know ourselves. This is called
''studying,'' cultivating and relinquishing. Look into this till
you see it clearly.
Living in this way we rely on endurance, persevering in face of all
defilements. Although this is good, it is still on the level of ''practicing
the Dhamma without having seen it.'' If we have practiced the Dhamma
and seen it, then whatever is wrong we will have already given up,
whatever is useful we will have cultivated. Seeing this within ourselves,
we experience a sense of well-being. No matter what others say, we
know our own mind, we are not moved. We can be at peace anywhere.
Now the younger monks and novices who have just begun to practice
may think that the senior Ajahn doesn't seem to do much walking or
sitting meditation. Don't imitate him in this. You should emulate,
but not imitate. To emulate is one thing, to imitate another. The
fact is that the senior Ajahn dwells within his own particular contented
abiding. Even though he doesn't seem to practice externally, he practices
inwardly. Whatever is in his mind cannot be seen by the eye. The practice
of Buddhism is the practice of the mind. Even though the practice
may not be apparent in his actions or speech, the mind is a different
matter.
Thus, a teacher who has practiced for a long time, who is proficient
in the practice, may seem to let go of his actions and speech, but
he guards his mind. He is composed. Seeing only his outer actions
you may try to imitate him, letting go and saying whatever you want
to say, but it's not the same thing. You're not in the same league.
Think about this.
There's a real difference, you are acting from different places. Although
the Ajahn seems to simply sit around, he is not being careless. He
lives with things but is not confused by them. We can't see this,
whatever is in his mind is invisible to us. Don't judge simply by
external appearances, the mind is the important thing. When we speak,
our minds follow that speech. Whatever actions we do, our minds follow,
but one who has practiced already may do or say things which his mind
doesn't follow, because it adheres to Dhamma and Vinaya. For example,
sometimes the Ajahn may be severe with his disciples, his speech may
appear to be rough and careless, his actions may seem coarse. Seeing
this, all we can see are his bodily and verbal actions, but the mind
which adheres to Dhamma and Vinaya can't be seen. Adhere to the Buddha's
instruction: ''Don't be heedless.'' ''Heedfulness is the way
to the Deathless. Heedlessness is death.'' Consider this. Whatever
others do is not important, just don't be heedless, this is the important
thing.
All I have been saying here is simply to warn you that now, having
completed the exams, you have a chance to travel around and do many
things. May you all constantly remember yourselves as practicers of
the Dhamma; a practicer must be collected, restrained and circumspect.
Consider the teaching which says ''Bhikkhu: one who seeks
alms.'' If we define it this way our practice takes on one form...
very coarse. If we understand this word the way the Buddha defined
it, as one who sees the danger of samsāra5,
this is much more profound.
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