''Hmm. This is the important one. Where is there a good person
to be found? There aren't any good people, you must find the good
person within yourself. If you are good in yourself then wherever
you go will be good. Whether others criticize or praise you, you are
still good. If you aren't good, then when others criticize you, you
get angry, and when they praise you, you get pleased.
At that time I reflected on this and have found it to be true from
that day up until the present. Goodness must be found within. As soon
as I saw this, that feeling of wanting to run away disappeared. In
later times, whenever I had that desire arise I let it go. Whenever
it arose I was aware of it and kept my awareness on that. Thus I had
a solid foundation. Wherever I lived, whether people condemned me
or whatever they would say, I would reflect that the point is not
whether they were good or bad. Good or evil must be
seen within ourselves. However other people are, that's their concern.
Don't go thinking, ''Oh, today is too hot,'' or, ''Today is
too cold,'' or, ''Today is....'' Whatever the day is like that's
just the way it is. Really you are simply blaming the weather for
your own laziness. We must see the Dhamma within ourselves, then there
is a surer kind of peace.
So for all of you who have come to practice here, even though it's
only for a few days, still many things will arise. Many things may
be arising which you're not even aware of. There is some right thinking,
some wrong thinking... many, many things. So I say this practice is
difficult.
Even though some of you may experience some peace when you sit in
meditation, don't be in a hurry to congratulate yourselves. Likewise,
if there is some confusion, don't blame yourselves. If things seem
to be good, don't delight in them, and if they're not good don't be
averse to them. Just look at it all, look at what you have. Just look,
don't bother judging. If it's good don't hold fast to it; if it's
bad, don't cling to it. Good and bad can both bite, so don't hold
fast to them.
The practice is simply to sit, sit and watch it all. Good moods and
bad moods come and go as is their nature. Don't only praise your mind
or only condemn it, know the right time for these things. When it's
time for congratulations then congratulate it, but just a little,
don't overdo it. Just like teaching a child, sometimes you may have
to spank it a little. In our practice sometimes we may have to punish
ourselves, but don't punish yourself all the time. If you punish yourself
all the time in a while you'll just give up the practice. But then
you can't just give yourself a good time and take it easy either.
That's not the way to practice. We practice according to the Middle
Way. What is the Middle Way? This Middle Way is difficult to follow,
you can't rely on your moods and desires.
Don't think that only sitting with the eyes closed is practice. If
you do think this way then quickly change your thinking! Steady practice
is having the attitude of practice while standing, walking, sitting
and lying down. When coming out of sitting meditation, reflect that
you're simply changing postures. If you reflect in this way you will
have peace. Wherever you are you will have this attitude of practice
with you constantly, you will have a steady awareness within yourself.
Those of you who, having finished their evening sitting, simply indulge
in their moods, spending the whole day letting the mind wander where
it wants, will find that the next evening when sitting meditation
all they get is the ''backwash'' from the day's aimless thinking.
There is no foundation of calm because they have let it go cold all
day. If you practice like this your mind gets gradually further and
further from the practice. When I ask some of my disciples, ''How
is your meditation going?'' They say, ''Oh, it's all gone now.''
You see? They can keep it up for a month or two but in a year or two
it's all finished.
Why is this? It's because they don't take this essential point into
their practice. When they've finished sitting they let go of their
samādhi. They start to sit for shorter and shorter periods,
till they reach the point where as soon as they start to sit they
want to finish. Eventually they don't even sit. It's the same with
bowing to the Buddha image. At first they make the effort to prostrate
every night before going to sleep, but after a while their minds begin
to stray. Soon they don't bother to prostrate at all, they just nod,
till eventually it's all gone. They throw out the practice completely.
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