I can see that it's very confusing for you, coming from different
places and having practiced in different ways with different teachers.
Coming to practice here you must be plagued with all kinds of doubts.
One teacher says you must practice in one way, another says you should
practice another way. You wonder which method to use, unsure of the
essence of the practice. The result is confusion. There are so many
teachers and so many teachings that nobody knows how to harmonize
their practice. As a result there is a lot of doubt and uncertainty.
So you must try not to think too much. If you do think, then do so
with awareness. But so far your thinking has been done with no awareness.
First you must make your mind calm. Where there is knowing there is
no need to think, awareness will arise in its place, and this will
in turn become wisdom (paññā). But the ordinary kind
of thinking is not wisdom, it is simply the aimless and unaware wandering
of the mind, which inevitably results in agitation. This is not wisdom.
At this stage you don't need to think. You've already done a great
deal of thinking at home, haven't you? It just stirs up the heart.
You must establish some awareness. Obsessive thinking can even bring
you tears, just try it out. Getting lost in some train of thought
won't lead you to the truth, it's not wisdom. The Buddha was a very
wise person, he'd learned how to stop thinking. In the same way you
are practicing here in order to stop thinking and thereby arrive at
peace. If you are already calm it is not necessary to think, wisdom
will arise in its place. |